Don't Follow Me
by Mernha
Summary: Those were his last words... will Sasuke be able to honour them?  SasuNaru AU Deathfic


-Ohkay, here we are, second fanfic. Another Oneshot, but who cares? Okay, story behind this one... I've been feeling sort of out of it the last few days, so I wrote this as a therapeutic fic. I was feeling sort of blue so this is what I came up with. That's it, basically. Eh heh.

Present Time

_Flash Back_

_**Letter**_

Be prepared for major OOC!

Anyway, enjoy!

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Sasuke sat in the large, comfy chair. His head was lowered, so that his long, black bangs hung over his eyes, acting like a shield against the outside world. He wasn't ready to face them, not now… not ever. He had retreated to the one place that he still remembered from before; the library. How could he forget this place, his last spot of sanctuary left in the world, the place that held his one last sliver of sanity in place? Talk was hushed and murmured, exactly as he liked it. Several people pointed at him as he brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, muttering in low tones. They knew better to approach him to offer support, or comfort, because everyone knew that it would be futile. When he has first stumbled into the school, several days ago, looking lost and confused, people asked what was wrong, only to be met with an icy stare, if anything at all. The day after, the newspapers had come out, and suddenly everyone understood why the Uchiha had reverted back to the way he was when he had first entered the school, several years ago. He still had several of his so-called 'fan girls' standing silently beside his chair, some distance away, ready to defend him from any probing questions.

The raven leaned himself into his knees, his eyes resting on the soft fabric, suddenly finding himself wishing that he was able to cry, right then and there. But his eyes wouldn't listen to him, they never had. His eyes were as dry as that night, four days ago. Damn the Uchiha pride that had been driven into his mind since birth. Uchiha's did not, under any circumstances, cry. He felt a lump form in his throat and he swallowed thickly. He retracted his head from his knees and forced himself to look down at the single piece of paper that lay in his lap, crumpled by all the manhandling it had gone through. He wouldn't allow himself to go anywhere without that piece of paper. It had been made the most important thing to him, easily out-weighing things such as friends, his school work, his health.

Large bags hung underneath his dark eyes, showing his lack of sleep. His skin, usually pale, had turned a milky white, and he had developed a slight twitch in his fingers. He had been suffering from insomnia, since whenever he closed his eyes, he was immediately transported _there. _He never wanted to relive that experience again, unconsciously deciding to keep his eyes wide open, instead.

_It had been raining. All day, too. And hard. A thunderstorm had washed over__ the small city, sewers being pushed to their limits. The day had started like any other, too, which made it even more unbelievable. Naruto had run into the building, sopping wet, his sneakers slapping and squeaking on the smooth, tiled surface of the school's hallway. His hair hung down, plastered to his skull and face. Sasuke followed him, because, as usual, the hyperactive boy had run ahead. He had folded the dark umbrella that his blond friend had refused, shaking it off before sliding it into his backpack, watching Naruto shake his head like a mutt, spraying water all over the hallway as his hair began to stick back up. They had chatted about the usual things, walking to their classes…_

In spite of himself, Sasuke smirked into his lap. It all seemed so cliché. The storm, the atmosphere, everything. Naruto had been himself, right up to the end. He realized that that was exactly how Naruto had wanted it. He never wanted to push himself into other people's worries, always acting like the hyper little kid he truly was inside. The memories of the dobe were enough to bring a slow, sad smile to his lips.

_They had__ all met up in their usual spot; the much smaller second level of the cafeteria. Hardly anyone dared to go up there, because it was where the outcasts hung out at lunch. Sasuke was often asked how he could stand it up there, hanging out with them. As per usual, he never answered with more then a "Hn," and a small shrug of his shoulders. He had been accepted readily into the group; a tightly knit group of friends that hung out with who had been declared the most annoying person in the school yearbook: Naruto Uzumaki. _

Try as he might, Sasuke couldn't remember what all happened at lunch. It was all so… normal. So… inconspicuous, that the raven hadn't paid particular attention to the conversation, forgetting topics that had been discussed only ten minutes before. He flinched as the loud bell screamed at the high school students to get back to class, cutting through his thoughts like acid. He slowly, and carefully, inched his way off the chair's soft cushions, ignoring the hands that were held out to him. Instead, he kept his hands close to his chest, holding that crumpled piece of paper tightly.

_The bell yelled at them, just like it had everyday, and everyone was slow at getting up, stretching out kinks and popping joints that had become stiff in their forty minutes of rest. Slowly, but surely, the group that he had soon come to recognize as his friends all stood and left, waving good-bye. There was Kiba, and Hinata, Shikamaru__, Ino. Sakura had bounced past him throwing a paper bag into the trash can. He returned Lee's enthusiastic wave, and left beside Naruto, waving at the rest of the gang. He listened to Naruto whine about his poor science mark, and told him that if he studied it would improve. It was then that something that could have suggested something was wrong happened. Naruto looked up at his black haired friend…_

"_It doesn't matter how much I study, it'll never get any better," He said, an air of seriousness and certainty laced in his voice. _

"_Don't you say that. You're the one who never gives up, no matter what, remember?" Sasuke told him, rapping his knuckles on Naruto's head. _

_Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment, before perking up and nodding rapidly. "Right! Thanks, Sasuke! I don't know what I'd do without you." He said, suddenly throwing his arms around Sasuke's waist in a quick hug before turning into a classroom. _

"I think you did know what you would have done without me," The raven muttered to himself, plunking himself down in his seat just before the bell rang. Of course, the only reason he was even here was because he knew that being out would be healthier then sitting in his room all day. He had no intention on paying attention to the teacher in the front of the room, tuning him out with ease.

_Before he knew it, it was the end of the day. He waited for his blond friend outside of his classroom, asking him if he wanted a ride. He was being picked up today, and the rain had, if it was possible, gotten worse. But Naruto shook his head._

_"Sorry, Sasuke, but I've got a few errands to run. You know, going grocery shopping… boring stuff like that." He had stuck out his tongue in distaste. _

"_Want some help?" The raven offered, but was met with a resounding no. _

_"No, no! It's okay. I don't want to bore you with that sort of stuff. So don't follow me, okay?" He said, knowing that the raven sometimes did to surprise him, if he had nothing better to do. _

_Sasuke cocked an eyebrow but agreed, knowing full well that he was going to break his promise. Something wasn't right… Naruto loved company on his shopping trips. _

"_At least take my umbrella, it's pouring out," The dark-haired teen said, holding it out. _

"_Nah, I'll be fine. Don't worry so much about me! I'm not your husband or anything like that!" Naruto had exclaimed, laughing a bit. Sasuke bit his lower lip, but nodded, headed out to the parking lot. He waited behind a large stone pillar, until he saw the familiar mop of blond hair emerge, looking around. Sasuke knit his eyebrows together, and began to follow his friend, keeping sure to stay far enough away and hidden._

Sasuke roused himself up from his desk and pushed his chair in. The school day was finally over. He walked briskly to the front doors and pulled one open. Bright sunlight mocked him from behind the clouds, taking moments to peek out and shine on the Uchiha. He felt like glaring at the sun, but thought against it, feeling himself go into auto pilot as his mind once again lead him back to that day.

_He crept behind Naruto, suddenly realizing the neighbourhood he was in. He furrowed his brows,__ listening to the raindrops hit the canvas of his umbrealla, watching the blond boy climb up the steps to his own house, pulling something out of his pocket. He reached up and stuck whatever it was into the mailbox that was marked Uchiha, before he started to jog away. _

_Suddenly curious, Sasuke wanted to go see what lay in his mailbox, but thought against it, quickening his pace before he lost sight of the blond. He continued to follow him as Naruto continued to run, getting farther and farther away from the residential area of the city and towards the industrial portion. From Sasuke's position, he noticed Naruto's hands shaking in the cold as he started to cross the large suspension bridge that hung over the river that separated their city from the one neighbouring it. _

_Naruto slowed down, until he finally stopped, right in the middle of the bridge, licking his lips, his hair once again plastered to his head. But he didn't care. None of it would matter soon. He reached out and touched the cold metal of the bar that lined the edge of the bridge, realizing that his hands were shaking. He felt his heart rate rise and turned to look behind him. He gasped as he saw Sasuke's dark form in the torrent of rain. He looked down, unable to look at his friend's look of utter confusion. _

"_I told you not to follow me, you bastard!" He yelled, as loud as his voice would let him. He felt his eyes narrow as he hoisted himself up onto the bar, holding onto a vertical support cable. But, the insult wasn't what it appeared to be. It was a term of affection and endearment to the blond, and he knew that Sasuke knew it too. _

"_Naruto! What are you doing!?" Sasuke yelled back, his confusion melting away as horror and shock took its place as he watched the blond clamour up onto the cold, wet, steel. He ran to his friend, his hand outstretched, his umbrella forgotten and neglected as his hand slipped away from the handle. Suddenly, the bright orange that his friend always wore, something that had become somewhat of a trademark to the young blond became dim, and dull in the cold, wet weather._

_Naruto sighed. "Read my letter… it'll explain. And this time…" He said quietly, his voice trailing off as he slowly let go of the support cable and pushed back with his feet, falling just inches out of reach of his friend's hand as he leaned over the bar to try and catch him, "don't follow me!" He yelled at his friend as he fell. Sasuke saw it all in slow motion as he shouted his friend's name franticly, not noticing his fruitless attempts to reach out to his falling friend as he watched the river open up in large splash and swallow the blond whole._

_Several drivers who had happened to witness the scene had joined Sasuke in looking over the edge as Naruto fell, their cars forgotten. Sasuke just turned away, his eyes wide with horror. But tears wouldn't come. The only moisture that lay in his eyes was due to the rain. And that sickened him most of all. _

_He trudged home, not wanting to deal with the motorists who had stopped for his friend. He couldn't remember the walk home… it had happened in a flash. The next thing he knew he was reaching into his mailbox and pulling out a small, homemade envelope, carrying it into his house and up into his room. He didn't even change out of his damp clothes as he tore open the envelope, pulling out a somewhat wrinkled piece of paper that had been folded to make it fit in the envelope. _

_Sasuke unfolded the letter, looking at the crude writing. It was a hand written letter, done in pencil, the entire note covered in faded letters and eraser markings. Closer to the end, he noticed that the handwriting was getting shakier, and small, circular spots of wrinkles and faded blue and pink ink that marked the binder paper. Naruto had been crying as he wrote the letter, the raven realized, reading it over and soaking in every word. _

Sasuke looked up from his musings to notice where he had ended up. The bridge. Not just the bridge, but the exact place where he had leaned only four days ago, desperately trying to clutch at the falling form of his once cheery friend. The sun took its chance to peek out once more, poking fun at the Uchiha. Naruto had been his only sunshine, and not just with his bright hair. His personality had lit up the Uchiha's life, turning him from the cold, heartless bastard who would shut himself up in the library, to a caring bastard with friends to call his own.

He lifted his shaking hands up and looked at the letter one last time, reading over the words he had practically memorized since the moment he read them for the first time. Of course, the paper was in much worse wear, the pencil marks faint. But Sasuke could make sense of the mess in his hands retrieving words soaked in from reading it umpteenth times:

_**Sasuke, **_

_**I'm trying to try and keep this short and sweet, since I know how much my ramblings annoy you. I want to say, thank you for being my friend. You were always there for me, and I really appreciate that. **_

_**You keep telling me how strong willed I am, and how I never give up, no matter what. Well, I just want to say that you're wrong. I'm not strong at all. I'm weak, which is why I'm taking the easy way out. By the time you read this, I will have thrown myself off the bridge…. Oh… what's it called…. Oh well, you know the one. The big one, over the river. **_

_**But b**__**efore I do, I just wanted to write this note, telling you something that I could never tell you in life. Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend, bastard that you are… I love you. I've loved you for a good while now, knowing that we could never be together. I know that you don't feel the same way about me, and that just tore me up inside. **_

_**I wish I had enough strength and bravery to tell you in person, but I would never be able to take the rejection of the one I love most. I hope that you can forgive me for falling for you, and you won't end up hating me. I know you must think that I'm some sort of gross, vile person for falling for you like I did. I just hope you can think on the fond memories, instead on dwelling on it too much. Now that you know, don't do anything stupid. Find a nice girl, live on and be happy, okay? **_

_**Well, I've said what I've wanted to say. Oh! Don't blame yourself for what I did. You didn't push me to it, so don't worry. I guess I just wasn't ready for the world. Maybe next time. Anyway, I'm rambling now. Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. Maybe we'll meet up in another life. I hope so, I'd like that. I'm just glad I could meet such a good friend as you. **_

_**I guess… That this… this is goodbye. **_

_**I love you,**_

_**Naruto**_

Sasuke let a small smile cross his face. Naruto's writing was like taking a peek into the blond's mind; jumbled and unordered. As he read the final lines, he felt an unfamiliar heat and stinging in his eyes. He blinked a few times, raising his fingers to his eyes, seeing moisture when he pulled them away. He was crying. He smiled and sobbed, reaching up and touching the same support wire, pulling himself up onto the same stretch of metal that Naruto had stood on just a few days ago. The letter was clenched in his hand, his knuckles white around the small piece of paper.

Sasuke took a deep, stuttering breath. He had pushed away his friends, his family, and everyone in between. He had been miserable, just because he missed the blond. Oh, how a fool he had been. He hadn't realized what the strange fluttering in his chest, that only seemed to come around in the vicinity of the dobe, really was: his love for the loudmouthed, hyperactive teen. And now, that the blond was missing, the sunshine had disappeared from his life. He knew that he would never be happy the way that Naruto had hoped. He knew that he couldn't go back to the way he was before meeting Naruto… never again.

Sasuke took another deep breath, and allowed himself to slip off the metal bar, Naruto's last words to him echoing in his mind.

But he followed anyway.

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Okay, if you don't get the whole following thing, here's what I was thinking: Naruto usually runs ahead without thinking of danger or anything else, So I assume that Sasuke would follow him everywhere, saving his butt and such. He also is probably dragged to a lot of things by Naruto, right? -shrugs- Oh well, that's my thought process.

Anyway, if you want to see more from me (Which you probably don't) Don't forget to R&R!


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